imperialdrone: (cypher)
imperialdrone ([personal profile] imperialdrone) wrote in [community profile] bucketlist2011-04-02 06:07 pm
Entry tags:

Homestuck Kink Meme

Homestuck Kink Meme

Helpful notes

  1. Both art and fic are welcome and encouraged.

  2. The character limit for comments on Dreamwidth is 16,000 characters (somewhere around 2700 words).

  3. If you need an anonymous image host for porny stuff, you can use http://www.postimage.org

  4. It's called a kink meme but we welcome non-porn requests too. Just make sure you give anons something to work with beyond just the pairing.


RULES

  1. Your kink is okay. So is everyone else's. Do not leave prompts or comments that bash characters/pairings or put down somebody's kinks/interests.

  2. We welcome all kinks, but we want people with triggers to be able to play here too! If your prompt or fill contains graphic violence, rape/non-con, or abuse, please label it in the comment subject line, e.g.: "Vriska/Tavros [abuse]" or "Gamzee/any [violence]"

  3. Please put the character(s) you're requesting in the comment subject line! That makes it a lot easier for potential fillers to find requests.

  4. Having prompts filled is what makes a kink meme successful! Try to fill a prompt for every three or four you leave.


There's a master list of fills in this post. Please link yours when you finish them!
kayera: Rose auspistizing Gamzee and Terezi (Default)

Re: troll/kid, first time xeno

[personal profile] kayera 2012-09-07 04:40 pm (UTC)(link)
Coming right up! I hope you don't mind Dave/Terezi.
kayera: Rose auspistizing Gamzee and Terezi (Default)

Re: troll/kid, first time xeno (Prt 1/?)

[personal profile] kayera 2012-09-07 04:44 pm (UTC)(link)
I hope this is what you were looking for. Don't worry, they're are going to be more parts soon.

---

There are many aspects of being a coolkid, and one of those many aspects is sex. If you have swag, you’re expected to flaunt it, and flaunting it means being crowded by chicks. Sex is cool, and guys who have a lot of sex are cool, too. At least, that’s what you’ve always believed.

The truth is that sex is messy and sometimes uncomfortable and also extremely embarrassing, especially when you’re buck naked and your girl is sniffing at your junk.

It doesn’t help that your girlfriend – oh fine, matesprit – is an alien chick. And not any alien chick, either. She has to be an unproven (but obviously) insane blind alien chick that can SM3LL things like colors and emotions and lies. Also her mouth, which has a bazillion of sharp jaws-esque fangs, is really close to your dick. Worst of all, she’s not even undressed yet.

But really that last part is your fault. After all, you’re the one who decided to surprise her by hiding out in her room, all Strider minus the sick outfit. The two of you have been through far too much stress lately, and you know that you had to do something to ease the tension. And what would accomplish that better than losing your virginity to the girl you so non-ironically loved? And yes, you did remember to bring a bucket, thank you very much, even though you’re still not sure how it’s going to be used in your love-making session.

When Terezi had opened the door and saw – no, smelled – your obvious lack of clothes, it was exactly the reaction that you wanted.

“Coolkid!” She screeched, and damn everything that girl says is screeching, she’s a fucking banshee, and now you’re wondering what other sorts of sounds you could coax out of her, but she’s talking again through her cackles and you listen back in. “You smell so delicious! The stink of cotton fabrics is gone. I do believe you stand before me in the nude.”

She practically padlocks the door behind her, and you know you made the right choice.

“Babe, it seems like I just can’t get anything past you nowadays,” you shoot right back at her, and damn you love the way she always rises up to everything you say, like it’s one big competition to be as snarky as possible, “Fine, you caught me red-handed.”

“Red-handed,” she repeats, “Dave, really! Don’t you know you’re supposed to take things nice and easy with a girl? You know, be subtle about your budding bone bulge for me.”

What the actual fuck is a budding bone bulge? Maybe she’s talking about your erection? Because it might be cold in Tz’s room, but she’s still grinning at you in that way that lets you know that there’s not a single sane cell in her head, and somehow you must be a raging closeted sadist because every time you see it you have to fight a raging boner. So yeah, that’s probably what she’s commenting on, even though she shouldn’t even be able to see it—

Damn, can Terezi actually smell erections? Dude, that is so creepy.

And you are even creepier because that idea makes you horny in ways that you don’t even want to begin to contemplate.

“Bitch, you know how it is,” you retort, and despite there being little blood left in your head, you are still as chill as can be, “I try to fight it, I try to do the whole roses and candlelight dinners for you, but damn little Dave just doesn’t seem to want to behave tonight.”

You’re playing right into her hands, giving her all the power, and just as expected, she just laps it up like the goofiest yet sexiest blood-sucking leech to ever exist in all of paradox space.

“Is that so? Well doesn’t it know that it’s in a court of law, and the people here are too afraid to even whisper about the punishment for those who… misbehave,” her dirty talk is terrible, far worse than when she’s trying to be ironic with you, but let god and the paradox troll gog simultaneously smite you if her words don’t turn you on all the more.

“Courtroom drama role-playing it is, then? With my junk as the accused, me as its lawyer or something I assume, and you the ever faithful judge, who is perhaps too dedicated to justice than she should be therefore allowing her to work beyond the law while the others turn a blind eye to her antics. Damn that one is so original I never saw it coming. Give me a sec to let me steady myself against a wall for taking such a metaphorical blow like that.”

Terezi just rolls back her head and howls with laughter, nearly singing to you, “Dave, there is not a thing as being too dedicated to justice.”

“Of course that’s all you took from my mini-monologue,” you snort, but you’re not surprised.

She’s now approaching you slowly, sniffing the air like a shark following a trail of blood, and not for a second do you believe you’re looking at anyone else but the neophyte herself, reincarnated or inherited through her bloodline or whatever. You won’t pretend to know anything about troll biology but damn does your girlfriend look fine when she’s invoking the spirit of her badass ancestor.

“Alright, let’s the rock the bitch off this sexual role-play,” you give in gracefully, and you’re not ashamed at all, you kind of assumed Terezi would be tops anyway, hell if you care, “My dick has been a real bad boy and even though I’m supposed to be defending him I’m not sure I can successfully lie while I’m under oath, your honor. He’s treacherous, and he just can’t be controlled.” You’re even backing away from her for added effect. Damn you’re good at this.

Terezi has picked up her cane and is lightly tapping her other palm with it, enough to make a satisfying slap noise that has the hair on your neck standing on end.

“It looks like the both of you are going to need a lot of reconditioning in order to redeem yourselves for your injustices… him, for not learning his place, and you for daring to even try to defend this slimy swindler in the first place!”

“Whoa, he ain’t that slimy yet. Nobody moves that fast.”

She just laughs back, and she’s even laughing like the neophyte now. And no, you don’t actually know what the neophyte sounded like, because she was hung thousands of years ago, but you’re fairly sure it would have sounded exactly like this.

“But before we do anything, I must thoroughly investigate the accused,” she reminds you, and it takes a second for your brain to load and register that, yes, she’s still talking about your cock.
kayera: Rose auspistizing Gamzee and Terezi (Default)

Re: Dave/Terezi, first time xeno (Prt 2/?)

[personal profile] kayera 2012-09-08 05:14 am (UTC)(link)
Alright, part two. I'm not sure exactly how long this will be yet. If you want me to add/change anything, or have any suggestions, let me know! Otherwise, please enjoy.

---

And that’s how you ended up buck naked with your girlfriend from another planet on her knees, sniffing at your erection and somehow still managing to keep a straight face. And then her tongue, that terrible tongue of hers that you’ve grown to love and hate so much for all the tortuous pleasure it has bestowed upon your mouth before, well that fiend flicks out from between her perfect ebony lips and just barely brushes against the tip of you.

“You’re not red there,” is the first thing she says, and damn you’re too busy trying to keep as still and calm as possible to really do much of anything except snarl back at her.

“I’m sorry it didn’t please your honor.”

There the tongue comes again, darting out as quickly as a snake’s, and you just barely feel the wetness of it against you before it’s gone again.

“Actually,” she snickers, her lips still so teasingly close to you, “it’s rather pleasing indeed. Liquid vanilla and sugar, like cream. That’s what I’ll call you now. You’re my cherries and cream.” She glances up at you with her blind eyes peeking above her shades, not to see you but to try to unnerve you.

You just stand there and take it, because yeah, okay, you’re her bitch now, but that doesn’t mean you’re going to get on your knees and beg for it.

“But I’m getting off topic, Mr. Cherries and Cream,” she continues with her courtroom fantasy, “It’s time for you to be interrogated. You will answer all questions that I pose, and always with the truth and nothing but the truth. Or you will rue the day that you ever dared rise against me.”

You mentally give her points for the awesome sex pun and answer for your dick like a good boy, “I promise to be your complete and total unwavering bitch. Let’s sex this interrogation up.”

And now… oh, good god… her hands are now moving. Her hands, with all their built-up callouses from all the fighting she’s been doing, and her sharp alien claws, her actual fucking hands are running up the insides of your thighs, and they should feel weird and unnatural but mostly it just feels like the best kind of irony that’s not really irony at all because you sincerely adore this fucked up bitch. She’s taking her time, teasing you good, and so you try your best not to tremble and let her have her satisfaction.

“First question, Mr. C and C,” Terezi asks, and you realize, oh god she actually expects you to try to have a conversation with her while she’s feeling you up, “Where are my hands?”

“Man, I know you’re blind but you should know enough to know what a leg feels like, especially since you’re touching mine so much, you must have figured it out yourself,” you reply, and she actually lets her claws scratch against the sensitive skin of your thighs.

Terezi makes a sound in her throat you’re sure is a growl. “I can hear the mockery in your voice, you criminal,” she warns you, and you see every single one of her scary piranha teeth as she curls back her lips with her pretend disgust, “Don’t let me catch you using that tone with me again, or so help me I will make your noose right here and now. Also, call me your honor.”

“I wouldn’t dream of it, your honor. Your hands are on my thighs, your honor.” Take that, your honor.

“Excellent,” she purrs, “Could you please describe to me the exact feelings that my hands on your thighs are provoking, Mr. C and C?”

“I believe my feelings would be best described as arousal, your honor.”

Terezi nods and leans forward, pressing her lips to your erection, and you seriously have to grab the bed post because you can feel her tongue moving, except her lips are in between the sweet love that should be happening between her tongue and your dick, and this is torture.

“And that,” she continues as she pulls away, “would you use the same word, ‘arousal’, to describe your feelings of my last action?”

Man, it hurts to think right now.

“Yes, your honor, although the level of arousal was certainly more in this instance,” you answer, and fuck you’re not even sure if that made any sense or not.

“Indeed?” Tz says, “Well then, it seems as though we’re getting somewhere.”

You don’t ask her where it is the two of you are supposed to be going. Her nimble little fingers with their needle-thin claws are crawling up the insides of your legs like she’s playing the ittsy-bittsy spider game, and you can still feel her breath against the tip of your member.

As soon as one of those talons of hers brushes one of your balls, the two of you simultaneously inhale sharply, though for widely different reasons.

“Fuck,” you finally exhale, way too relieved that she didn’t draw blood to pretend to be apathetic.

Yet your girlfriend is suddenly eerily silent. You peek down at her, noticing her slightly tilted head and furrowed brow. You would know that look anywhere. Shit, you can practically see the question mark that her lips have twisted into.

“Cat run off with your tongue, your honor?”

Terezi doesn’t immediately respond to you, as if she’s pulling herself out of a livid dream. When she finally does speak, her usual shrill, confident tone is wavering. “What is that?”

Her talon retracts away from your sensitive man bits, but before you can wipe the sweat off your forehead, she twists her hand so that she can cup them in her palm. Between the thickness of her alien skin and the callouses that she’s built up over the last few years, her textures of her palm are far rougher than any girls’ ought to be. So why is this such a turn on?

“Those? Um, those are my balls,” you answer in a duh voice.

She gives you a sharp look, not exactly angry, but with just enough of an edge to it to let you know that she’s not amused. “Your what?”

“You know, my testicles? My nuts, my knackers, my family jewels?”

“Dave, I don’t know what you’re talking about,” your girl tells you flatly, her burned eye sockets narrowing at you, as if she’s suspecting foul play, and god help you if that happens.

You close your eyes and try to think. Finally, an idea hits. “Oh, right, I forgot your weird troll words for body parts. Let’s see… they’re my twin spherical sex sacs?” You take a moment to bask in the glow of your linguistic skills. See, speaking troll ain’t that hard.

Except… she’s still staring at you blankly.

“Are they attached?” She finally asks, running an experimental finger up to check that, yes, your testicles are very much attached to the rest of your body. “So where’s your nook?”

“My what?”

You’ve heard Karkat refer to a nook before, of course, in his more colorful and confusing choice of insults. It’s never something you’ve given much thought to it before. But now you’re giving it a lot of thought. Shit, she can’t mean—

“Wait, you mean a vagina… er, a self-lubricating tubular tract?”

“Well, obviously,” Terezi shoots back, as if you’re the one being an idiot now, “What the hell else would I be talking about?”

Suddenly there seems to be less oxygen in the air. It seems Operation: Get Into Alien Girlfriend’s Junk was not such a brilliant plan after all. But now’s not the time for panicking. You take a slow, steady breath and reply evenly, “Oh. Well that’s simple. I don’t have one.”

The change in her expression is immediate, and familiar. You can tell she’s going through the same thoughts as you are. Your unshakable matesprit has been thoroughly shaken.

Why did neither of you consider that you might be packing different junk in the pants department?

“Dave…” Terezi’s voice is so hesitant that you hardly recognize it as hers. As she shifts away from you, you notice for the very first time a familiar tent in the seat of her pants. Or, it would be familiar, if she were male.

Oh god. Suddenly, for the first time, you really don’t want to see what’s in her pants.

What could be hiding behind that zipper of hers? What sort of weird alien genitalia is she packing downstairs? Unwanted, grotesque images flash through your mind: a mass of creepy hentai tentacles, like some sort of mini-medusa in her pubic hair, or worse, a muscular dick-like thing, sharp as her nails and covered in thorns.

For a horrible moment, you consider a chaste life with Terezi. After all, lots of couples have reasons for sexless relationships. What about Dirk and his hatemate, Caliborn, who was asexual? Their all-consuming blackrom was intense despite its unending state of non-consummation. Or, what about those couples who were in “open relationships”, who got their pleasure elsewhere? Surely it could be argued that sex was not essential to the thing you and Terezi had.

Still… you glance at Terezi again, still kneeling on the floor in front of you, obviously aroused. Her lips are slightly open, her small breasts heaving under her shirt, the lump is still there in her jeans. You imagine her naked, her body as sharp as knives, and yet still unmistakably feminine in the curve of her chest, the slope of her waist, the thick muscle of her hips and thighs. What would it be like, to have her long legs wrapped around you, to hear her pant with lust, to see her when she is riding out an orgasm, to hear each bizarre alien sound she makes from the depths of her throat, all the while knowing that it was you who was doing this to her, that it was you who was driving her out of her mind?

Now it’s the time to decide. Cue the jeopardy theme song, because shit just got serious. Mister Strider, please answer in the form of a question. For one hundred points under the topic of xenobiology: alien genitalia. What is… worth the risk in order to make love to her? Right?

Well, isn’t it?

You have to calm yourself down. Her expression is turning almost self-conscious; and that’s a mood killer if you’ve ever heard of one. It’s now or never. How do you respond?

“If you show me yours, I’ll show you mine,” you suggest.

Her responding grin, which showcases each and every one of her pointy little shark fangs, let’s you know that your answer was correct.

Excellent. One hundred points for Mister Strider.

Re: Dave/Terezi, first time xeno (Prt 2/?)

(Anonymous) 2013-01-25 01:09 am (UTC)(link)
Oh god this is amazing and I LOVE IT SO MUCH. Terezi not knowing what nuts are is a brilliant bit of writing and Dave being the interrogated and this is GOOD GOOD GOOD.

Please continue! Please!