bucketlist | Homestuck Kink Meme: Act 2

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Homestuck Kink Meme: Act 2

Homestuck Kink Meme

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An alternative take on the whole breeders thing. Some lowbloods (say red to yellow) can lay eggs without the mothergrub's involvement. The 'external' indicator is in the gential region, so any of the canon lowbloods could work. These lowbloods are usually sold off to a highblood as a combination of a sex slave and the highblood's own personal mothergrub - they can lay eggs that are theirs, or that are just their owner's or even a mix of their owner and a partner, depending on how they're bred.

So, when one of the lowbloods is discovered to be a breeder they try to get a highblood they trust to buy and protect them. Of course Sollux might think it's a much better deal than ending up as a helmsman, but he'd need a very powerful owner to avoid that - say Feferi or Eridan.

Alternatively it might be fun to see the lowblood sold to a highblood OC and have to be rescued one way or another by a canon troll.

“What am I supposed to do with this?” Vriska asked, flicking John’s already hard cock with her finger.

They sat on the bed, naked. The blue sheets were crumpled up at the end of the bed. The rest of the room was a bit of a mess, with John's prankster kit strewn out around the floor. Vriska had ruffled through John's chest when they had first entered the room, but found nothing of use except for the trick handcuffs, which she had thrown out the window when she found out that John could break out of them without effort.

Vriska had begun stripping with her normal impatience, and by the time they got to the bed she was wearing only a pair of panties. She gave zero fucks about propriety. John had stared at her as her t-shirt, bra and pants had hit the floor. Part of him had still felt like he should turn away, but he couldn't. He was totally fascinated both by having a woman disrobe in front of him, and even more fascinated by how strange she looked. When her t-shirt had lifted over her breasts, John gawked openly. Vriska's breasts were small and firm, her grey skin shaped into perfect hemispheres. She didn't exactly have nipples, her breasts were completely smooth. Still, John found his breath speeding up.

“What?” Vriska had asked, noticing John staring at her chest. She sounded bemused.

“can i touch them?” John asked.

“Sure, I guess,” Vriska said. She said it casually, but John noticed a blue blush creeping up her cheeks. “They’re just my fat globes.”

John had reached out and touched them. Like the rest of her skin, it felt like touching the smoothest sandpaper. John had cupped them, caressed them. He massaged them between his hands.

“What are you doing, John? Jegus, you’re such a weirdo. It’s not like they’re anything special.”

“you’re dumb,” John said. “these things are awesome!” As if to illustrate, he cupped his fingers under her breasts and bounced them up and down, as if he were juggling them.

“Hahahahahahahaha!” Vriska reached down and grabbed John’s wrists. “Everything a8out me is awesome.” She flipped her hair over her shoulder. “Do you think we can move on, though? At least take your shirt off.”

John nodded, and Vriska let go of his wrists. With a parting squeeze, he removed his hands from Vriska’s breasts. He reached down and pulled his t-shirt over his head. He felt kind of embarrassed as he did it, and Vriska’s calculating stare didn’t help anything. John’s face felt like it was boiling.

“What are those?” Vriska asked, as his chest came into view.

“what are what?” John asked.

“These.” Vriska reached out and pinched one of John’s nipples.

“ouch! could you be a bit gentler?” John asked. “those are my nipples.”

“What are they for?” Vriska asked, ignoring his question.

John shrugged. “they’re not really for anything. they’re just sort of there.”

Vriska started rubbing his nipples.

“that still kind of hurts,” John said. “your skin is too rough.”

“Are all humans this soft? You’re like a wriggler.” Vriska removed her finger, and slid it into her mouth.

Vriska removed her finger from her mouth, now shining with saliva. She brought the finger back down to his nipple and started drawing circles around it.

“vriska, what are you doing?” John asked. “guy’s nipples aren’t really a thing.”

“They look like a thing to me,” Vriska said. “Look, it’s getting hard. That's cute.”

As Vriska ran her rough and slippery finger around John’s nipple, he was surprised to find that it was starting to get hard. More than that, Vriska’s touches were starting to feel good.

Finally, Vriska had stopped playing with his nipple and finished stripping. That was when John first saw her bone bulge. John knew about it in advance. He had been given a crash course in troll anatomy. It didn’t really prepare him, though. The bulge unsettled John. It was longer than his penis, but very thin. It was definitely the most alien part of Vriska. For the most part, she looked human. If you painted her a different color and gave her a pair of sweet shades, she could probably even pass for human. Well, if you hid the horns, of course.

Vriska's bone bulge looked nothing like a human penis. It looked more like a rose stem. It was long and thin, and was covered in what looked like little thorns. It flared out a bit at the top in three petal-like flaps of skin. There was also a little bump right at the tip, and in the center of that was a hole. John’s erection had gone down rather quickly when he had seen it, but then Vriska had guided his hand to it, and he had rubbed it with his fingertips, feeling both the soft suppleness of her skin and the hard bone structure inside of it. Vriska had moaned in appreciation as he touched it, and John had reacted to her pleasure by once again becoming erect.

And now it was his turn to show what he had, and Vriska was looking at it with a little moue of distaste, flicking it with her finger, and asking what she could do with it.

John covered his cock with his hands. Her flick had hurt, and he was sort of afraid that she would do it again.

“um…” he said, “don’t you have something else? a nook or something?”

“Yeah, 8ut,” Vriska started. “W8, let me show you.”

She took hold of his hand again, and guided it between her legs, below her bone bulge. John found himself blushing madly, and as he touched the skin around Vriska’s nether regions, his erection began to get so hard that it hurt. His fingers were just in front of her vagina, or rather, her nook, and Vriska was guiding him further.

There was a depression in her skin, and as his fingers moved into it, John could feel his heart pounding harder and harder in his chest. And then he reached the bottom of the depression, and all he felt was…

More flesh.

Vriska’s “nook” was a small indentation, no more than half an inch deep. There was nothing else different about it. There was no vagina, no opening. Nothing but more skin.

“See?”

“yeah,” John said. “i guess i hadn’t thought that much about this weird alien stuff. how do trolls, you know…”

“Fill pails?”

John nodded.

“Well, that’s not the whole nook, it’s just the entrance. There’s a protective covering of skin. You 8reak it with the 8one 8ulge.”

John thought for a moment. “human women have something like that too. it’s called a hymen.”

“How do humans 8reak it?”

“well i haven’t done it before,” John said. “but i think you just push through it with your penis… your bulge…”

Vriska looked skeptical. She took hold of John’s cock with three of her fingers, and slid them up and down. “How does this 8reak through anything? It doesn’t even have a 8one inside of it.”

"i don't know. i've never really done this before."

Vriska sighed. “We can try it, I guess.” She crawled to him and straddled his cock. Her breasts were right at face level, and John could feel her bone bulge pressing against his stomach. She lowered herself down until the head of his penis was in the entrance to her nook. She pressed down hard against him.

John could feel the pressure on the head of his cock. It sort of hurt. “hey vriska? i really don’t think this is working.”

“May8e I just need to use more force,” Vriska said. She slid upward and then slammed her hips back down, and the entrance of her nook jammed against his cock.

“ow!” John's cock bent painfully. “vriska, please stop. this really, REALLY isn't working.”

Vriska sat back. “Well, this sucks."

“sorry, but there’s not really anything i can do about it.” John felt frustration welling up inside him. They were so close, and everything seemed to be going wrong. “maybe you should be less alien.”

“John, clearly that is a8surd. You're the one that's an alien. We made your world, so you’re the weirdo copies of us.” She paused for a moment. “W8. You are weirdo clones of us. May8e we can do it the other way. What if I use my 8one 8ulge?”

“i don’t have a nook,” John said.

“How is that even possible?” Vriska asked. “Your species is stupid. What if two guys want to fill 8uckets?”

“well,” John started. Then he stopped and thought for a moment. “i guess human males do have something like a nook. i mean, i guess i know something about gay sex from dave, but…”

“But what? Don’t you want to have sex with me, John?”

“no, i do. it's just... i'm not gay. i don't do that sort of thing.”

"John, do you have any idea how stupid you sound? 8eing gay is where two human males pail with each other, right? Do I look like a human male?"

"no, i mean... it's not... look, i'm afraid of you putting that thing inside of me. it's gross and weird!"

Vriska's mouth curled into a snarl. “8re you c8lling me gr8ss, John? 8ecause that wouldn't 8e v8ry delic8. I th8nk I would h8ve to 8e 8ngry at you if th8t's what you w8re s8ying."

"no! stop twisting my words!" John looked away from Vriska's glare and took a deep breath. "i'm sorry, i'm just scared. your bulge is so big, and having anal sex isn't something that i've ever thought about. just give me some time to think about it."

Vriska rolled her eyes. "John, what you're saying is still dumb. My 8ulge is thinner than yours, so it will go in much, much easier. I don't have to put it all the way in if it doesn't fit. How about this: I'll just stick the tip in, and if you don't like it we can stop?"

John's stomach was clenched up tight. It felt like it was pulsing in time with his heart. He shuddered. He looked as far away from Vriska as he could; at the carpet that was scattered with his stuff, at the empty ceiling, at his bureau, but there was nothing to see anywhere. Vriska was watching him and he had to make a decision.

"fine."

“Awesome!” Vriska pushed him down onto the bed and started groping around his groin. “Where is it?”

“it’s right around there, but further back." John's stomach gave a sudden lurch, and he felt as if he was going to vomit. “wait, no. vriska, i don’t think i’m ready for this.”

Vriska’s fingers rubbed up and down the area below his balls. Against his will, John had to admit that it felt pretty awesome. Then Vriska’s finger slid down lower and touched the area around John’s anus, and John felt a shiver run through his cock. It actually felt really good. He was surprised to find that he felt disappointed as her finger slid back up and away from it.

“Hahahahahahahaha! This is so gr8! You do have a nook!!!!!!!!” Vriska pulled her hand away and laid down on top of John, pressing her lips hard against his.

A sudden image of Vriska's bulge flashed through John's mind, and John's body spasmed as a sudden shock and terror tore through it.

“mmmph!” John screamed into Vriska's mouth. He pushed up on her shoulders desperately, with all his strength, and suddenly his mouth was clear of hers. “vriska wait! i'm not ready!”

“Ughhhhhhhh. What is it now?"

“vriska, your bulge has spikes!”

“Spikes?” Vriska asked. “Oh, you mean the nu8s. They’re not sharp or anything. They make it feel 8etter, actually. Here, want to feel them?” Vriska asked. She crawled up his body until he could reach her bulge.

John's head felt light, and his breath kept catching in his throat. As Vriska's bulge came closer to him he closed his eyes and focused, tried to regather himself. There was nothing wrong. Vriska wouldn't do anything that he was uncomfortable with. When he had told her to stop, she had stopped. He just needed to get over this stupid thing, and then he could make her happy. He finally managed a deep breath.

John opened his eyes. Vriska's bulge was right in front of him. From here, he could see that the spikes, the nubs, weren't actually sharp. It was just like Vriska had said. He reached up, placed a finger against one of them. Not only weren’t they sharp, they were actually kind of spongy. They felt weird and squishy, but actually sort of cool. John felt his stomach unraveling as he played with one of them, rubbing and massaging it. Vriska gasped, and blue fluid began to leak from the hole at the top of her bulge.

“Woah,” Vriska said. “W8 until we get started. ;;;;)”

John was a little bit relieved, but the idea of Vriska penetrating him still scared him. “i’m still kind of worried. i’m afraid it’s going to hurt.”

“What’s a little pain?” Vriska grinned.

John's breath stopped. His fists clenched, and the muscles inside his arm locked painfully, fighting against each other. He fought to get a breath, but it wouldn't happen. His mouth gaped open in panic.

Vriska rolled her eyes. “Jegus, John. I’m joking. Just tell me if you want to stop, and I’ll stop. Really, what’s going on with you?" She traced her fingers lightly down his arm, and she bent down to kiss him on the forehead. "Relax."

John forced himself to breathe. His lungs hurt as air flooded them. He breathed out, and in again, gasping. Vriska was right. He was being crazy. There was something wrong with his head. He was blowing absolutely everything out of proportion. "just give me one second. you're right, i just need to calm down a little bit."

Vriska smiled down at him. "It's okay, John. I know I felt nervous before the first time I Flarped. 8ut then I totally 8lew it out of the water! I was the 8est! And I know that you can be the 8est, too, John. You're so tough and 8rave, unlike some people I could name. We fit together perfectly.”

"okay. yeah, okay." John smiled. "you're right. i can do this. and it's going to be awesome."

“I knew you’d come around,” Vriska said. She kissed him, and laid down on top of him. Her bulge was rubbing against his cock. It was wet and slippery from the fluid it had released earlier. John moaned into her mouth as the nubs brushed his cock head.

Vriska reached down with one hand, and guided her bulge under his balls. She set the tip of it against the skin right beneath them.

John was confused. He pulled his lips away from Vriska’s. “wait,” he said. “that’s not…”

Vriska thrust her bulge forward.

The tip of the bulge slid back, exposing the sharp tip of the bone that ran down it. It tore through John’s skin, and the rest of the bulge followed it into his body, widening the cavity that the tip had created.

John cried out in pain. He could feel the bulge tearing through his muscle. He spasmed in shock, and his arms gripped Vriska tight against him.

He opened his mouth to yell at Vriska, to scream at her to stop, but she pulled her bulge out and thrust it back in, and his vision went white and he couldn’t say a word. His senses were overwhelmed. All he could feel was centered on the organ that was tearing its way through him.

The pain wasn’t the worst part. The pain was terrible, it was so bad that it had locked his body in place, so bad that his nerves had screamed out in agony all at once, overwhelming his body and his brain. It was too much, though. It was so much that his brain had shoved it aside, and now he felt lightheaded, as if he were swimming and had stayed in too long. He felt the pain as something alien, as if it were happening to someone else.

The pain wasn’t the worst part. The worst part was the way that he could feel his muscles hanging loosely, that he could feel bits of himself flopping around inside his body. He could feel each stroke of Vriska’s bone bulge as it slid in and out. The nubs bumped against his skin as Vriska penetrated him, and they rubbed at his insides. He felt everything, and was screaming in his mind that this was wrong, that it was terribly, incomprehensibly wrong.

“Stop it!” he screamed, and finally, his mouth worked, and his voice came out. He pushed Vriska off of him. Then in a panic, he stood up and ran toward the door, toward the exit, toward the way out. He could feel blood dripping down his thighs, and his vision was a swirl of colors. He tried to blink it away.

When he finished his languid blink, he was back on the bed, with Vriska on top of him. What had just happened? Had that been dream? A hallucination? The sensation of blood running down his thighs was real, though. He could feel it trickling out of him. Vriska was kissing him, biting his lip. John hardly felt it. It was getting more and more difficult to focus on what was going on.

He noticed, though, when Vriska pushed herself up. For a moment John thought that she was finished, but she had just changed positions. Now she was kneeling up straight, and she had grabbed onto his legs and was penetrating him even deeper.

“Oh my god, Egg8ert, this is so awesome!” Vriska’s face was ecstatic. “You could fill a 8ucket in no time!”

She lifted a blanket from the bed to show him. It was soaked, and was dripping deep red fluid. It took John several seconds before he understood what he was looking at. It was his blood.

“Vriska, help,” John said. “Help.” He had no idea whether sound was coming from his mouth. It didn’t even occur to him to wonder anymore. Everything was blurring, fading. And Vriska was still going. She was fucking him even harder, now, thrusting her bulge in and out of him. Her pelvis slammed against his with every thrust, and her nubs ground against his muscles as they slid in and out.

His vision was going black around the edges. He could still hear her panting, though. “Oh my god, John, this is so gr8! I’m going to pail!”

Vriska thrust deep inside of him one last time, and held herself there. Something chill splashed inside of him, and his stomach twitched and shivered. It was the last motion that his body could perform. He could feel himself filling up with whatever it was. He could feel it running up around his stomach, into his chest. His vision closed completely, and all that was left was dark and cold. He was floating in a dark sea, eyes closed. It was almost calming in a way. He felt himself drifting away.

“Egg8ert? Egg8ert?”

Someone was talking to him, but he couldn’t quite place the voice. It was way too hard to keep thinking. He didn’t want to get up for school.

“Egg8ert!”

Nope, come back tomorrow. He was just going to lay here in his bed. He could go to school tomorrow. The voice got further and further as he drifted. Soon it would fade completely, and he could finally rest.

“John?”

“Joooooooohn!”

[OP] HELP I AM MASSIVELY IN LOVE WITH THIS FILL IT IS EVERYTHING I EVER WANTED WHEN I POSTED MY PROMPT YOU ARE AMAZING THIS IS WONDERFUL

I was so excited when I got the email notification for it and then I IM'd to my friend as I was reading it:

hee fat globes
this is adorable so far
I can't wait for the bodily injuries to start
haha

[then I got distracted by the fic's amazingness and so I didn't type for a while, and then when I finished it was like]

omg
omg
that fic
omg

IN CONCLUSION: YOU ARE THE BEST AND THIS FILL IS THE BEST YAYYYYYY

ha also the end made me curious, I was kind of actually wondering earlier (knowing this was gonna end in character death) whether this was currently happening, or being relived in a dream bubble. Anyway, yes then the end when John gets up and runs away but suddenly he's back on the bed again, made me wonder even more about that. I like that you left it open to interpretation though! With the "What had just happened? Had that been dream? A hallucination?" So maybe he is reliving this in a dream bubble and he tried to change the course of events but the dream bubble kept playing back what had happened, or maybe it ~was~ some kind of hallucination brought on by the blood loss or something. Anyway. I liked it! AND I LIKED EVERYTHING ELSE TOO. :D the gore was excellent.

(was the "egg8bert" a pun or something vriska was doing making fun of john's name? just curious, hee)

P.S. still OP

ALSO I THOUGHT YOUR CHARACTER VOICES WERE REALLY GR8 TOO

Eep, the egg8ert thing was a mistake that I completely overlooked when I was editing. I am so embarrassed. *_*V

haha no need, your fic was still awesome, no worries about typos. I was just curious but thought that might have been the case. ;)

You guys miss me? ~~of course you didn't~~

So this one's short, promise. Just- a fic in which nobody could ever tell Karkat and Kankri apart until hey opened their mouth.
50 point to Slytherin if it's set in on the first day of kindergarten because kid fics.
100 points to Slytherin if both of them are horribly shy.
Internets if Stabdads

You carry on my legacy
Yes. You rock

Mituna uses mind honey to regain a semblance of his former intelligence, but his lusus won't let him have a lot due to its harmful side effects (like twitching and frothing?). Without it, he can't understand a lot of things, except for the fact that he desperately needs more mind honey.

Cue Cronus taking advantage of his addiction by offering Mituna mind honey for sex. Bonus points for having Cronus smearing mind honey on ~various bits~ of his anatomy.

Gamzee/Jane based story

Gamzee and Jane meet with each other like in the update but things turn for the unexpected. Gamzee has alien urges for sexual intercourse with Jane.

Dub con, xenophilia, mating, blowjob, deep penitration, slight stomach expansion

Remember to make it hardcore.

Oooh, I call this one!

Do you prefer hermaphrodite or non-hermaphrodite troll genitalia?

Gamzee and Karkat, Moirails turned matesprits, both waiting for the other to make the first move on the other [Or Karkat is, at least] And Eventually, Karkat decides that enough is enough, and makes the bluntest move that comes to his mind...he grabbed Gamzee's bulge, embarrassed, he tries to shy away, but is pulled back by Gamzee, and it alllll goes to smut from there.

Here is a small introduction for you! I hope you enjoy!
---

“This is fucking ridiculous.”

Wow, a definite nominee for understatement of the year right there, Karkat, he thinks to himself, All other contestants can just fuck off.

He’s really just stalling, of course. Also, it’s kind of hard not to protest, when that’s really the only weapon left in his arsenal in the fight against his freaky dominatrix matesprit. (Or wait, shit— didn’t we flip caliginous recently? Karkat tries to remember. Fuck if I know; it’s impossible to keep up with all the relentless vacillations going on in our relationship.)

Jade’s backside is all he can see of her: those gentle sloping shoulders, the delicate small of her back, the curve of a soft thigh slanted towards him as she shifts her weight to one side, and, of course, the beckoning shape of her long legs.

She doesn’t even bother to twist her head to peer over her shoulder at Karkat as she says, “Did you say something, Karkat?”

Gingerly, he weighs his options. It isn’t that fucking hard, sing-songs a rather sadistic voice in his head, Just think: What’s more important to you? Your life… or your dignity? Be honest, now… it’s not like you had any of the former to begin with.

Shit. Subconscious Karkat is right, the bastard.

Karkat reaches up and fixes the weird barkbeast headband so that the ears stand straight, and with all the disdain he can muster, replies, “Woof.”

Could I please have a sort of "Beautiful all along -- just add make-up!" sort of story, where high school queen bee Feferi tries to teach the naive geek Jade how to be cool/popular? Also, Jade only goes along with it so she can spend time with her crush Feferi -- and prove to her that even nerds can be seductive ;B

Bonus points if Jade has snarky girlfriends Rose and Kanaya acting as her sassy gay friends.

Triple points if this takes place in a Japanese yuri type setting. (Ex: "Peixes sempai?" "O-nee-san!")

It can be humanstuck or not. I don't really care if it makes sense or not. Just please have it absolutely ridiculous and silly :)

Here's chapter one for you! This is the last update without any porn, by the way, so don't worry about that^^
---

If you asked Karkat to pinpoint the exact moment when this clusterfuck of a thing began, he wouldn’t know what to say. Well, he would probably say something along the lines of, “Fuck you, does that look like any of your goddamn business? What brand of pervert do you even have to be to ask something like that?” But that would mostly be to cover up for the fact that he didn’t have the foggiest clue of a real answer.

Jade and his relationship had definitely been, er, consummated long before, and had seemed completely normal to Karkat. It wasn’t as if their sex had been boring, per se, but it hadn’t been exactly kinky, either.

How they ever ended up where they were went way over Karkat’s nubby little horns.

Jade, on the other hand, remembered it exactly, oddly enough.

It all started one day, a few years back, a little bit before they had started college, when Jade had been invited out for a night of fun with the other girls.

Jade had been enjoying herself, between the dancing and the gossip-sharing, showing the troll girls the various highlights of human night life, before the topic had somehow waded into the murky waters of sex talk.

Feferi had been the one to bring it up, if Jade recalled correctly, with a suggestive comment about just how useful Sollux’s moods of seemingly doubled energy could be, if not for any orthodox reason.

After that, it was if it were confession hour. Jade learned more about her friends’ sex lives than she ever wanted to know. Like, how far Rose’s tentacle fetish really extended, and how Kanaya had been more than willing to come up with creative ways to satisfy her, as long as Rose went along with Kanaya’s bloodplay fantasies. The smoldering let’s get a room look they gave one another while admitting such things alone was enough to have Jade blushing from her scalp down to her toes.

It had only gotten worse from there. Terezi had been leagues away from subtle while describing her and Dave’s courtroom roleplaying, and how Dave’s body reacted (completely against the coolkid’s will, she had added with a cackle) to her improvised “punishments”.

Equius was apparently some sort of saintly lover, having the virtue of being both gentle and extremely thorough. Aradia had said that he was always making sure that she was properly stimulated before allowing himself any pleasure. Aradia even mentioned “multiple orgasms”, which wasn’t even something Jade had even known was possible at the time.

Calliope loved to experiment with various positions from her all her favorite fanfiction, Jake was mentioned as being as adventurous in private with Jane as he was in his expeditions (waaay too much information, Jade thought, because no matter that Jake wasn’t her grandfather, they were still her parents, biologically speaking, and no one should ever be aware of the sorts of things their parents did behind closed doors), Nepeta claimed that Eridan was even more sexually skilled than he always bragged about and indulged all of her roleplaying shenanigans, Roxy had a real big kink for orgasm denial, Vriska and John had their very own safe word (that’s my twinyou’re talking about, Jade wanted to cry)… and it just went on and on.

Jade was so past horrified that she couldn’t even tear herself away for the life of her, couldn’t stop envisioning everything they said in detail so graphic it went beyond anything she’s ever allowed herself to think about before.

“What aboat you, Jade?” Feferi gave her a nudge and one of those smiles she thought was endearing but really just felt like staring down the throat of a shark, “Give us ALL THE DIRT on Karcrab! With all the glubbing and fussing he does, you must have found some betta things for him to use his mouth for.”

It took Jade far too long to realize that Feferi was not talking about kissing. No, she was talking about oral stuff. Like, mouth to genital stuff. Jade had never, not in a million years, considered doing anything like that—Karkat would have screamed himself hoarse protesting the very notion.

“The truth is,” Jade confessed, “Karkat’s more of a romantic, see?”

From the answering confused looks her friends gave her, Jade understood at once that they did not, in fact, “see”.

“What, you can’t romantic if you’re having sex?” Roxy sputtered, at bit too loud—she was already on her fifth martini. And that wasn’t counting all the shots she had taken in between. “Why, that’s the most ridonculous thing I’ve ever heard! Wait…”

Calliope took Roxy’s shot glass from her and murmured, “I think that’s quite enough alcohol for you, duck.”

“I stand by Roxy’s however regretfully worded opinion,” Rose had said next, balancing her own cocktail in the palm of her hand, still untouched by her lips, “Romanticism and sexual expertise are not mutually exclusive. In fact, much evidence would support the contrary—that is, that they are in fact connected to one another. Most of the time, anyhow, I should say, for I don’t believe this is a constant in all cases.”

“What Rosie said,” Roxy had slurred at that point, still half-fighting with Calliope to try to rescue her drink back.

This didn’t help Jade out at all, and actually made her feel even worse. “All I mean is,” she tried again, “is that Karkat is kind of a perfectionist when it comes to romance. So I guess what I’m trying to say is… he tries too hard sometimes.”

Jade had meant to highlight this as an endearing quality, but the others had looked like she had said that Karkat had been neglecting her or something.

Actually, she wasn’t sure what to make of their expressions, but they were kind of sad.

All at once, they began badgering her with what they surely had thought of as helpful hints—the main point was that they thought that she should talk with him. “Discuss some of your kinks with him,” Aradia had insisted. “While you are, for the lack of a more sophisticated term, in the middle of consummation, you should tell him where you want him to touch you the most, and tell him how each touch feels,” Kanaya inputted rather shamelessly, “It might help Karkat to start slow.” “I would discuss his sexual fears with him, if I were you,” Rose added. (“Ooh,” Kanaya had said to that, giving Rose another I’m imagining you without any clothes on look, “Nice idea.)

It wasn’t until Nepeta leaned forward and said with a fiendish grin, “Or you can always, you know, take over. Karkitty’s always had a thing for forceful women, after all,” that Jade thought Alright, enough is enough!

Being reminded of Karkat’s old infatuation with Terezi wasn’t even half as bad as having said bit of information broached by a person that Jade still wasn’t convinced had gotten over her crush on Karkat, even after becoming sexual hatefriends with Eridan—or, er, whatever it was they were to one another.

“Okay, we’re officially done talking about this, like, forever!”

Their protests of “Aw, Jade, no, we’re just trying to help you, seriously, not try to make you feel uncomfortable” failed to persuade her to waste another breath on the topic.

Dave as Lancelot
Terezi as Guinevere
Karkat as Arthur

GO, ANONS, GO

just gamzee and dirk being psycho together dang please

Cupcake play, use of wooden spoons, Jane is Jake's little batter bitch

So what I'm looking for is one day John goes to Dave''s house. Dave isn't home and only Bro is there. Bro tells him it's fine to stay and so John does yet Bro's acting a little...off. So John sits on the couch while Bro plays video games. At one point Bro pauses the game and asks about John and Dave's relationship. [You can make their relationship whatever you want at this point] After John answers Bro pins him down, telling John how he is Bro's. Not Dave's. Thus induces the rape and non-con.

It would be really cool if you could get Dave to walk in and we'd have a nice and pissed off Dave!

I SECOND THIS!

make it happen

So having eons of nothing to do with all your fellow dead trolls gets p boring. And so there are lots of hookups to pass the time. And, it basically gets to the point where all the dead trolls from Beforus are casually banging each other all the time, without any impact on their established relationships. (ex Mituna and Latula are still a committed matespritship, but sometimes Latula has a night with Porrim because they can and because they're bored.)

Except Cronus, because even eons of being dead is not enough to make anybody touch that guy. And also no Meenah either, I guess, since she wasn't around. ... and I guess no Kankri because he's celibate right? So um, yeah, by "everybody" i mean the other 9 Beforus trolls.

So, when Karkat shows up, not only does everybody want a piece of that pie, but it's been so long since they met somebody new that they sort of... forgot... how you're supposed to go about getting into somebody's pants. And so nobody really bothers with any preamble; they all just go for the gold and jump Karkat's bones.

Possible noncon because what if they forget to ask him and what if Karkat's not into it. But if you're not feeling that, you can have Karkat be totally down for it. Either way, there are like 9 trolls who look just like his friends who are all really excited to get into his pants, possibly all at once.

kanaya somehow turns vriskas mind control on her and decides to have some fun, non hermaphrodite please. just vagina, thanks preemptively to whomever decides to write this.

and i want it down and dirty lesbian stuff as well.

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Page 17 of 20

Homestuck Kink Meme: Act 2

Lowblood breeders, Highblood troll/Tavros, Aradia or Sollux, forced impregnation

Vriska: Penetr8 [1/2] (Vriska/John, Gore, Xeno, Body Horror, Blood, Major Character Death, Noncon)

Vriska: Penetr8 [2/2] (Vriska/John, Gore, Xeno, Body Horror, Blood, Major Character Death, Noncon)

Re: Vriska: Penetr8 [2/2] (Vriska/John, Gore, Xeno, Body Horror, Blood, Major Character Death, Nonco

Re: Vriska: Penetr8 [2/2] (Vriska/John, Gore, Xeno, Body Horror, Blood, Major Character Death, Nonco

Re: Vriska: Penetr8 [2/2] (Vriska/John, Gore, Xeno, Body Horror, Blood, Major Character Death, Nonco

Re: Vriska: Penetr8 [2/2] (Vriska/John, Gore, Xeno, Body Horror, Blood, Major Character Death, Nonco

Karkat + Kankri Mistaken Identities {twin shenanigans}

Re: Reverse the Hemospectrum AU

Crotus x Mituna + mindhoney [dubcon]

GamzeexJane kink [xenophilia]

Re: Jade/Karkat

Gamzee/Karkat [Redrom]

Re: Jade/Karkat

Feferi/Jade

Re: Jade/Karkat, Trying Something New Prt 1/7

Dave, Terezi, Karkat

gamzee/dirk

JanexJake [slight abuse]

Bro(Dirk)/John [Rape, non-con,underage, pedophillia]

Re: Bro(Dirk)/John [Rape, non-con,underage, pedophillia]

Re: Bro(Dirk)/John [Rape, non-con,underage, pedophillia]

dancestors/Karkat, gang-bang, possible noncon

Vriska/kanaya

Re: Vriska/kanaya