bucketlist | Homestuck Kink Meme: Act 2

Homestuck Kink Meme

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Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

Pet-play with domme!Jade and sub!Karkat. Collars please? Bonus points for fluffy aftercare.

Oooh, I call this one!

Do you prefer hermaphrodite or non-hermaphrodite troll genitalia?

Here is a small introduction for you! I hope you enjoy!
---

“This is fucking ridiculous.”

Wow, a definite nominee for understatement of the year right there, Karkat, he thinks to himself, All other contestants can just fuck off.

He’s really just stalling, of course. Also, it’s kind of hard not to protest, when that’s really the only weapon left in his arsenal in the fight against his freaky dominatrix matesprit. (Or wait, shit— didn’t we flip caliginous recently? Karkat tries to remember. Fuck if I know; it’s impossible to keep up with all the relentless vacillations going on in our relationship.)

Jade’s backside is all he can see of her: those gentle sloping shoulders, the delicate small of her back, the curve of a soft thigh slanted towards him as she shifts her weight to one side, and, of course, the beckoning shape of her long legs.

She doesn’t even bother to twist her head to peer over her shoulder at Karkat as she says, “Did you say something, Karkat?”

Gingerly, he weighs his options. It isn’t that fucking hard, sing-songs a rather sadistic voice in his head, Just think: What’s more important to you? Your life… or your dignity? Be honest, now… it’s not like you had any of the former to begin with.

Shit. Subconscious Karkat is right, the bastard.

Karkat reaches up and fixes the weird barkbeast headband so that the ears stand straight, and with all the disdain he can muster, replies, “Woof.”

Here's chapter one for you! This is the last update without any porn, by the way, so don't worry about that^^
---

If you asked Karkat to pinpoint the exact moment when this clusterfuck of a thing began, he wouldn’t know what to say. Well, he would probably say something along the lines of, “Fuck you, does that look like any of your goddamn business? What brand of pervert do you even have to be to ask something like that?” But that would mostly be to cover up for the fact that he didn’t have the foggiest clue of a real answer.

Jade and his relationship had definitely been, er, consummated long before, and had seemed completely normal to Karkat. It wasn’t as if their sex had been boring, per se, but it hadn’t been exactly kinky, either.

How they ever ended up where they were went way over Karkat’s nubby little horns.

Jade, on the other hand, remembered it exactly, oddly enough.

It all started one day, a few years back, a little bit before they had started college, when Jade had been invited out for a night of fun with the other girls.

Jade had been enjoying herself, between the dancing and the gossip-sharing, showing the troll girls the various highlights of human night life, before the topic had somehow waded into the murky waters of sex talk.

Feferi had been the one to bring it up, if Jade recalled correctly, with a suggestive comment about just how useful Sollux’s moods of seemingly doubled energy could be, if not for any orthodox reason.

After that, it was if it were confession hour. Jade learned more about her friends’ sex lives than she ever wanted to know. Like, how far Rose’s tentacle fetish really extended, and how Kanaya had been more than willing to come up with creative ways to satisfy her, as long as Rose went along with Kanaya’s bloodplay fantasies. The smoldering let’s get a room look they gave one another while admitting such things alone was enough to have Jade blushing from her scalp down to her toes.

It had only gotten worse from there. Terezi had been leagues away from subtle while describing her and Dave’s courtroom roleplaying, and how Dave’s body reacted (completely against the coolkid’s will, she had added with a cackle) to her improvised “punishments”.

Equius was apparently some sort of saintly lover, having the virtue of being both gentle and extremely thorough. Aradia had said that he was always making sure that she was properly stimulated before allowing himself any pleasure. Aradia even mentioned “multiple orgasms”, which wasn’t even something Jade had even known was possible at the time.

Calliope loved to experiment with various positions from her all her favorite fanfiction, Jake was mentioned as being as adventurous in private with Jane as he was in his expeditions (waaay too much information, Jade thought, because no matter that Jake wasn’t her grandfather, they were still her parents, biologically speaking, and no one should ever be aware of the sorts of things their parents did behind closed doors), Nepeta claimed that Eridan was even more sexually skilled than he always bragged about and indulged all of her roleplaying shenanigans, Roxy had a real big kink for orgasm denial, Vriska and John had their very own safe word (that’s my twinyou’re talking about, Jade wanted to cry)… and it just went on and on.

Jade was so past horrified that she couldn’t even tear herself away for the life of her, couldn’t stop envisioning everything they said in detail so graphic it went beyond anything she’s ever allowed herself to think about before.

“What aboat you, Jade?” Feferi gave her a nudge and one of those smiles she thought was endearing but really just felt like staring down the throat of a shark, “Give us ALL THE DIRT on Karcrab! With all the glubbing and fussing he does, you must have found some betta things for him to use his mouth for.”

It took Jade far too long to realize that Feferi was not talking about kissing. No, she was talking about oral stuff. Like, mouth to genital stuff. Jade had never, not in a million years, considered doing anything like that—Karkat would have screamed himself hoarse protesting the very notion.

“The truth is,” Jade confessed, “Karkat’s more of a romantic, see?”

From the answering confused looks her friends gave her, Jade understood at once that they did not, in fact, “see”.

“What, you can’t romantic if you’re having sex?” Roxy sputtered, at bit too loud—she was already on her fifth martini. And that wasn’t counting all the shots she had taken in between. “Why, that’s the most ridonculous thing I’ve ever heard! Wait…”

Calliope took Roxy’s shot glass from her and murmured, “I think that’s quite enough alcohol for you, duck.”

“I stand by Roxy’s however regretfully worded opinion,” Rose had said next, balancing her own cocktail in the palm of her hand, still untouched by her lips, “Romanticism and sexual expertise are not mutually exclusive. In fact, much evidence would support the contrary—that is, that they are in fact connected to one another. Most of the time, anyhow, I should say, for I don’t believe this is a constant in all cases.”

“What Rosie said,” Roxy had slurred at that point, still half-fighting with Calliope to try to rescue her drink back.

This didn’t help Jade out at all, and actually made her feel even worse. “All I mean is,” she tried again, “is that Karkat is kind of a perfectionist when it comes to romance. So I guess what I’m trying to say is… he tries too hard sometimes.”

Jade had meant to highlight this as an endearing quality, but the others had looked like she had said that Karkat had been neglecting her or something.

Actually, she wasn’t sure what to make of their expressions, but they were kind of sad.

All at once, they began badgering her with what they surely had thought of as helpful hints—the main point was that they thought that she should talk with him. “Discuss some of your kinks with him,” Aradia had insisted. “While you are, for the lack of a more sophisticated term, in the middle of consummation, you should tell him where you want him to touch you the most, and tell him how each touch feels,” Kanaya inputted rather shamelessly, “It might help Karkat to start slow.” “I would discuss his sexual fears with him, if I were you,” Rose added. (“Ooh,” Kanaya had said to that, giving Rose another I’m imagining you without any clothes on look, “Nice idea.)

It wasn’t until Nepeta leaned forward and said with a fiendish grin, “Or you can always, you know, take over. Karkitty’s always had a thing for forceful women, after all,” that Jade thought Alright, enough is enough!

Being reminded of Karkat’s old infatuation with Terezi wasn’t even half as bad as having said bit of information broached by a person that Jade still wasn’t convinced had gotten over her crush on Karkat, even after becoming sexual hatefriends with Eridan—or, er, whatever it was they were to one another.

“Okay, we’re officially done talking about this, like, forever!”

Their protests of “Aw, Jade, no, we’re just trying to help you, seriously, not try to make you feel uncomfortable” failed to persuade her to waste another breath on the topic.

Homestuck Kink Meme: Act 2

Jade/Karkat

Re: Jade/Karkat

Re: Jade/Karkat

Re: Jade/Karkat, Trying Something New Prt 1/7