bucketlist | Homestuck Kink Meme: Act 2

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Homestuck Kink Meme: Act 2

Homestuck Kink Meme

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Anyone here read any of the Stargate fics where one or more team members has to pretend to be the slave of another?

I'd love to see a story where for some reason one of the other trolls has to pretend to be Karkat's sex slave - and this will involve semi-public sex.

Eridan ends up being selected, and he's disturbingly convincing.

Bonus if he keeps the act up pretty much 24/7.

Double bonus if Karkat notices some really strange scars on Eridan's body.

Triple bonus if one of the leaders Karkat's negotiating with asks to swap sex slaves for a night.

thiiiis sounds like fun. OP, what kind of scars were you looking for?

I didn't post it here, but I posted the original over on livejournal, and I didn't have any particular scars in mind, just not the sort of scars Karkat or the other trolls have - from training in how to fight.

You review the terms of the diplomatic meeting one more time, as if they'll be less ridiculous on a sixth reading. "Two ranking officers," you read, "accompanied by no more than one bodyguard and one personal slave apiece." You look at Feferi as if she'll have gotten some other version of the memo.

She just shrugs with a jangle of bracelets. "Ranking officers means you and me, Karcrab," she says, "and I'm shore we can pick bodyguards...."

"But fucking personal slaves?" you finish when she trails off. What the fuck kind of decadent society do humans have, anyway? (More importantly, how is a fucking decadent society like that powerful enough to force you into a diplomatic meeting instead of just caving to your might?)

You glare at the terms some more, which continues to not do any good. Personal slaves? Sure, okay, a damaged lowblood with nobody to pull strings for him might wind up doing slave labor. But any troll keeping slaves around for...what, waiting on them and doing stupid petty errands on their behalf? A troll who did that on a regular basis would look soft, and looking soft is a good way to get gutted.

"We otter get someone to pretend," Feferi says. "If the deal goes fishy, we'll want help fighting our way out."

For a second you just blink at her. "Right," you say. It always surprises you when she pulls that highblood scheming stuff out of nowhere; most of the time she's bubbly and friendly and doesn't act like it's any trouble to co-captain with a nobody who earned his officer's commission on his scores instead of his hemochrome. "I want Kanaya for a bodyguard."

Feferi nods. "I'll ask Equius," she says.

"Good," you say. You would have suggested him if she hadn't: not only does he look the part, imposing as hell, but his stupid blood issues mean he really would do anything in his power to protect her. Also, not coincidentally, having him already assigned for the bodyguard role means he can't get the sweats over the chance to be somebody's slave. You consider your options. "I guess we should ask for volunteers to play slave, since we need them to act convincing."

Which is how you come to be explaining this problem to the other members of your cohort on the ship. Trolls are trolls, and you don't want to ask any relative strangers to do personal service for you; there's no way you'd look convincing when the whole time you were worried about being stabbed in the back. And okay, a few of the trolls in your cohort would probably be prime candidates for stabbing also—you have no intention of bringing Vriska, for instance—but at least you know them well enough to have an idea where the trouble could come from.

"So, what you're all up and asking," Gamzee says slowly, "is for a couple of us motherfuckers to go waiting on you hand and foot while you're all off playing politics with them pink monkeys."

"Basically," you allow. "And before you volunteer, I am not taking your sloppy, foul-mouthed carcass along."

"I ain't even any kind of worried about that, best friend," Gamzee says. "Can't see as how I'd be all having the motherfucking patience for that noise."

You make a mental note to thank Gamzee's horrible clown gods for the gift of self-awareness when you have the time. "Right. We need somebody who can pay attention to detail, who'll be good in a fight if we need to have one, and who can also do a good job of pretending to be subservient."

"Send Pupa," Vriska says.

Tavros tries to hide behind Gamzee, even though there is no hiding his ridiculous rack by now, while you and Feferi both say "No," almost in unison. Vriska pouts.

"I'll go," Aradia offers.

Feferi claps her hands. "Perch-fect!" she says, and you wince even though you agree. "You can attend to me."

"Great," you say, and maybe you sound cranky but you do mean it. Aradia's smart, and she's a lot more dangerous than she lets on. "So we just need one more."

"I'll go with you, Karkitty," Nepeta says, bouncing on her heels. You grimace, and not only because you can see Equius looming unpleasantly in your future like a thundercloud made entirely out of hurting.

Eridan pushes off the wall he's been slouching on and says, "Nah, let me do it. Nep ain't got a sense a propriety."

You bite down on the immediate what, and you do? Then you strangle the next two or three things that come to mind, too. You're pretty sure your expression says it all: Eridan has been an arrogant, needy douche for as long as you've known him, and the idea of him making a convincing slave is ridiculous. He keeps meeting your eyes anyway, fucking placid about it, his eyes all deep liquid purple and completely calm.

"Are you shore?" Feferi asks, when you don't take the initiative yourself. "Ab-sole-utely shore you can keep clam and follow orders?"

"Dead certain, Fef," Eridan says. "You wwant me to swwear it?"

Feferi sighs through her gills. "I bereef you," she says. "I just don't want to hear you carping on about it later!"

They have the weirdest relationship you have ever seen. They're not actually moirails anymore, and the breakup was messy, but they still do grossly pale stuff like this with each other in public every once in a while. Sometimes you honestly think they're more pale for each other now than when they were official. And you know if you mention it they'll both look at you like they have no idea what the fuck you're talking about.

"Cross my heart, no carpin, no fussin, no wwhinin." He smiles, and he's talking to her entirely, not to you at all. "Sides, if you're in charge and I'm a slavve, then wwe ain't tellin em anyfin about divvision a powwer."

"Hmm," she says. She looks at you. "Karcrab?"

You could ask Sollux, you think. When he's not being a completely inflamed asshole, you like Sollux. Then you try to picture him even pretending to be your slave with anything resembling good grace. No. "Okay," you say. "I'm going to regret this, but okay."

Eridan smiles at you as if you're actually friends. "You regret everythin, Kar," he says fondly.

###

The humans receive your landing party in a completely palatial hive in the core of one of their cities. The six of you do your best to make a striking impression when you arrive. You and Feferi are in your dress uniforms, pale pearl gray with hemotyped piping at the seams. Equius and Kanaya are wearing security blacks with their signs picked out discreetly at the lapels. And Aradia and Eridan...you think Eridan must have come up with their "uniforms," pale as your formal dress but far less stiff and more suggestive, and both of them are wearing face paint to match their "owners." The tyrian purple around Aradia's rust-red eyes looks weird, but not half so weird as seeing your scarlet on Eridan's lips.

You march into the diplomatic receiving hive with your skin crawling and your nerves on edge, but you're not baring your teeth and you have Feferi beside you to be the friendly, outgoing one. Still, you aren't thrilled about this whole adventure. Fucking diplomacy, how does it work.

The humans who will be your counterparts are unnerving. Their skin is pale and thin enough that you can see the flush of red blood beneath it—all humans have blood the same color as yours—and their hair is almost pure white. They've sent one male and one female to deal with you, and you wonder if that was intended to send a deliberate message, and if so what it was. Maybe it'll be good you have Eridan around—he's highblooded enough to have studied all this crap, so you can pick his thinkpan for clarification between meetings.

The first meeting is apparently all social horseshit and no actual treaty-making at all. You make small talk with the female human, Rose, about the weather and the seasons Earth has and what a pain in the nook it is to deal with space travel. Feferi chats with the male. Their guardians and your bodyguards lurk at the edges of the room disapproving of everything in silence.

And then at some point it's refreshments time. A little door opens in one side of the reception block and two more humans come in with trays of food. These ones are darker—their skin is light brown instead of sickly pink, and their hair is black—and they're barely dressed. You're still watching them warily when you notice that Aradia and Eridan are going over there to get some of the food from them. Personal service. Right.

Eridan comes over with a plate of food, these little bite-sized fiddly things you can't identify, and kneels next to your chair. The black-haired male human is doing the same thing for Rose, and she takes one of her own morsels to pop into her mouth.

"Their chef's been told wwe're mostly carnivvorous," Eridan says. "So that's a wwingbeast paste on these bits here, an the beady ones are fish roe."

You peer at it suspiciously. "Any good?" you ask.

Eridan's eyes widen like you've scandalized him. That'll be the day. "I ain't about to go tryin it wwithout permission," he says.

You catch yourself before you can snark back at him about how there's a first time for everything. You pick up one of the paste ones—the substrate is a little stiff bread-type thing—and pop it in your mouth. It is pretty good, salty and spiced with something, the meat richer-tasting than most of the stuff you get on shipboard. You try the fish roe, and that's not bad, either.

Out of the corner of your eye, you can see the other human ambassador, Dave, feeding his slave, teasing a little morsel into her mouth. Are you expected to do that? You'll wait and see if Rose does it, too. She seems to be the stricter one about protocol stuff.

Rose eats about half the stuff on her plate before she says, "Hungry, John?"

Her slave smiles, a stupidly friendly expression. "Pretty much always," he says. "May I please have a bite?"

"Good boy," Rose says, and puts food in his mouth. His tongue laps at her fingertips and the pinkness of it is shocking.

You glance at Eridan. "May I havve a bite, my lord?" he asks without missing a beat, and without sounding anything less than sincere.

"I guess since you ask nicely," you say, and pick up one of the fish roe ones for him. He licks his lips and opens his mouth and this is weird; maybe it's because humans don't have the same sharp teeth or the same violent impulses trolls do, but the idea of putting your fingers where somebody could bite them is creepy as hell.

Eridan doesn't bite. He takes the food in his mouth and lets the soft wetness of his lip drag along your fingers as you withdraw, and your bloodpusher speeds up because what the hell, but you try really hard to keep that from showing on your face. You've been learning, since you joined the Fleet, how to not be screamingly obvious about everything you're feeling at all times. You feed yourself, and you feed Eridan, and you act like this is normal. Feferi is making Dave laugh. You're not embarrassing yourself terribly with Rose. You can do this.

"I'm so glad we could have such an amiable encounter," Rose says to you as Eridan and her slave take the empty trays away. "There were those among our people—and I am sure you faced similar complaints—who were convinced that our two races could never enjoy the pleasures of civilization together. It gives me hope for tomorrow's negotiations."

You nod, wishing you had a better idea what the right answer was. "Yeah, we have our share of warmongers. But I'm pretty sure we can make them understand that, ah," don't say fighting you is too costly, that's too honest and sounds weak, "an alliance would be better for everyone."

Rose smiles. "Indeed. We have more in common than our naysayers would contend."

The slaves—no, fuck—Eridan and the slave come back with fancy glasses of something pale yellow and fizzy. The stem of the glass is cool in your fingers. You hesitate, not drinking immediately, and Rose reaches out to tap her glass against yours so they chime.

"A toast," she says, "to shared pleasures."

Oh wow! Thank you, thank you, thank you. This is marvellous, all these little ways to display your power over another person that Karkat doesn't quite get. He's just copying the humans without really understanding it. While Eridan seems to either have been trained or intuitively grasp them, from the subservient side.

But you've got Eridan actually having a rational reason for volunteering - and I didn't mention it but I did want to see two trolls having to play slave, Eridan and a lowblood, with Eridan being more convincing. And I just love it that after a single meeting Karkat's already slipped into thinking of Eridan as a slave, and having to remind himself that no eridan isn't a slave.

aaah, I'm glad you're liking it! The prompt was just irresistible. >33

And yeah, I figure that Eridan has all this highblood background that means he has experience with power games and power demonstrations, so he gets how it works and he can pick up the nuances a lot faster.

And since you're around, I can ask! What kind of ending would you like this to head toward? I have a couple more scenes in mind but I'm fuzzy on exactly how their relationship should end up by the time they finish negotiations.

I hadn't really thought about the end game. Although I would like to see some sort of stable relationship at the end.

And I don't want Eridan too badly traumatised by all of this.

Maybe Eridan discovers that this is a sexual role he enjoys and they keep up with it in private.

Cool, I can totally work with that!

jalfidsjfdiffffff oh Karkat, poor baby, having to play intricate cross-cultural diplomatic bluffing games with Rose Lalonde

he is so out of his league, it's wonderful

hee, thank you! I am pretty sure "never meet the Strider-Lalondes at the bargaining table" is right up there with "never get into a land war in Asia." But nobody warned Karkat about this. XD

You can't hide your confusion. "A toast?" you ask.

She smiles. "Ah, excuse me," she says. "It's an old Earth custom. That is, a salute to some wish or some idea we wish to honor together before we drink. The gesture is entirely symbolic in its present form, though apocryphally it was once far more violent: the drinkers would knock their glasses together hard enough to spill their drinks into each other's goblets, thus ensuring that neither could poison the other without also being poisoned himself."

"Huh," you say. You aren't sure whether that was a threat or just a charming anecdote about humans having shitty backstabbing origins just like trolls. You eye your glass. "Do I say it back?"

"If you wish," Rose says. "Or you could add another item of your own."

Out of the corner of your eye you can see Eridan's chin move down just a fraction, like the tiniest nod in history. Yes, add something else? Yes, it's safe to drink? Both? You should have come up with a code ahead of time.

"A toast to our new alliance, then," you say, and touch Rose's glass with yours.

"Of course," she says, and drinks. You follow her lead.

The drink is sour, and the bubbles tickle your palate; even though it's cool in your mouth, it leaves a warm feeling down your protein chute, so you're pretty sure it has alcohol in it somewhere. Fine. Okay. You can handle your liquor.

Sort of.

You get through the first glass okay but then there's a second glass, and you're taking it slowly but you're a bit fuzzy in the head and glad that Rose is just making small talk with you because fuck, you'd be terrible at negotiating like this. Your skin feels too warm.

And then she sets down her glass and leans back in her chair and says, "John," like it's a command.

Her slave sinks to his knees beside her chair. "What can I do for you?" he asks with a grin. Like he's happy to do it, like he's happy to be at her beck and call for little petty favors. Is he just stupid? Do humans have psychics who can mind control the weaker members of their species?

"Service me," Rose says coolly, reaching down and pulling up her skirts. Your train of thought derails and plummets into the chasm of what the fuck, to crash and burn with no survivors. You go completely still, not looking down, and for a second you dare a glance over at the others. Dave has the black-haired girl in his lap. This is unbelievable.

John buries his head between Rose's thighs and makes noises you're sure you shouldn't be hearing. Rose leans back in her chair, her posture going loose and relaxed. She's watching you. Waiting for you to be outraged? You have no idea what the diplomatic way of getting out of this is. You have no idea if there is a diplomatic way to get out of this.

"Eridan," you say, and you're proud of the fact that you don't sound like you're choking to death on your own shocked embarrassment. Maybe he'll be able to prompt you for what to do from here.

"It wwould be my pleasure," Eridan says, and kneels.

You meet his eyes and you're trying very hard to communicate you don't have to but he's not picking it up, just reaching for your belt and the buttons on your pants. You wonder if he's ignoring your discomfort on purpose because hey, a chance to get at your bulge. You wonder if ritual suicide would mean you could forget you'd ever had that thought.

His fingers are cool and confident and he strokes you stiff with little showoffy strokes and you sort of want to die inside. It feels good. You weren't really expecting him to be good at this.

He lowers his head and takes your bulge in his mouth, completely shameless and completely perverse, and if you don't yank him back by the hair immediately it's mostly because you are terrified of catching his teeth in a sensitive spot. Then information from your nerves makes it up your spine to your overclocked thinkpan, and you decide you'd kill anyone who tried to remove him. He does this thing with his tongue against the tip of your bulge and your claws shred the upholstery of your chair. Oops.

Rose only laughs at the destruction, though. "He's talented, then," she says. "I apologize for not, mm, having the foresight to provide you something sturdier."

"D-don't mention it," you manage. Your voice should be steadier, fuck. This woman has highblood ice in her veins and you don't want to show weakness but Eridan is sucking on your bulge as if that's in any way a thing that people do. "It's h-hardly the sort of thing that comes up ahead of time."

When you glance over at the others, they've pretty much caught up to you in the impropriety race: you can see Aradia's head moving between Feferi's thighs, and Feferi is blushing right out to the tips of her fins. Dave's face is mostly still calm but his thin skin betrays him; his face is turning bright pink as his slave...does whatever humans do for each other.

Eridan's fingers slide up the inside of your thigh and hook into the open crotch of your pants. You clamp your hand down on his wrist before he can actually reach for your nook. He makes a sound like he's pouting, and you can feel the vibration of the sound in his lips and tongue against your bulge. You shudder. It feels good, feels amazing, but you're not going to spill your genetic material in front of the humans.

Which...means you're going to have to pretend to be satisfied with this, aren't you? Maybe the humans won't be able to tell. Maybe they don't climax the same way trolls do. Maybe—oh god, maybe Dave is having some kind of climax right now, the way he's gone tense like that. You are watching an alien have an orgasm. Nobody ever warned you diplomacy would be like this.

You pull Eridan off your bulge when Rose's eyes flutter closed; her blunt teeth catch her lip as she shivers, and you press your fingers to Eridan's lips to signal him to please, please just not say anything about how you're obviously not done. He licks your fingertips. You glare as best you can through the haze of alcohol and frustration.

By the time Rose is...done...you've buttoned your pants back up, trying to ignore how uncomfortable that is when your bulge is swollen and sensitive. You smile at her when she opens her eyes again, and she smiles back, and you think she's probably completely deadly even right now. "Your hospitality," you say hoarsely, "has been excellent."

She laughs gently. "But you have had a tiring day, and we will have much to discuss tomorrow," she says. Totally gracious, giving you exactly the answer you were hoping for. She glances over at Dave. "We'll have John and Jade escort you to the suites that have been prepared for you."

You stand up, reaching out reflexively for Eridan's shoulder to steady yourself. You shouldn't have had that second glass of liquor. "Thanks," you say to Rose. "That would be great."

Feferi looks like she's just about as distracted as you feel. Aradia looks like she's trying not to grin too hard, like she's just won a prize. Kanaya and Equius fall in behind you as the human slaves lead you out of the room, and you don't look back to see their reactions but you can smell how sweaty Equius has gotten from watching.

You suddenly realize how very, very, very lucky you are that you weren't doing that little performance with Nepeta, and choke on the hysterical laughter that bubbles up in your throat.

Kanaya is at your side immediately, hand on your elbow. "Are you all right?" she asks.

"Fine," you say, even though you aren't. You're so far from it. But you're not poisoned or anything, which is probably what she was asking. "I just need, um, some rest."

The human girl looks back at you and beams. She's clearly from the same breeding stock as the male is; their faces are almost identical. "Fortunately, here you are!" she says, opening a door. "Parlor, two bedrooms, with your slime bath things in them, and two bathrooms off to either side. There's a little appearifier in that corner, so if you need anything just call downstairs and it'll be sent up for you."

"Looks fin to me," Feferi says, smiling back. "Karcrab, anything you're fishing for right aweigh?"

"I wish for no more fish puns," you groan, lost cause that it is. "Shoo," you tell the humans. "We'll be fine until tomorrow."

You can feel Dave's need to say something like a tangible weight on the air. You pick up the glass of champagne you'd set aside in favor of more visceral pursuits and sip it, waiting. He has never been good at keeping his peace.

"Man," he says, "I cannot believe you went there. Hey, twitchy little alien attack beast, welcome to Earth, where sexing up your slave in front of someone you barely know is totally cool and acceptable behavior. Just met? Let's trade orgasm faces, it's like the handshake of my people."

You set the glass down again. "It was a gamble," you admit.

"What. Seriously." You don't have to be able to see his face to know he's raising his eyebrows at you. "Rose, a gamble is when you eat the leftovers in the back of the fridge even though you can't remember when you shoved them in there. Playing public sex chicken with the ambassadors from intergalactic fuckyouupistan is so far beyond that level it needs a new word. A new lexicon."

He's pacing, which means he's afraid he's going to make a facial expression and doesn't want you to see it. "It was a calculated risk," you insist. "And it paid off perfectly. They're confused and exposed and they don't know what to expect from us, and they've demonstrated that they're willing to go to lengths they find uncomfortable in order to avoid offending what we present as cultural norms."

Dave shakes his head and you think you catch him in a smile. "I gotta hand it to you, Madam Lalonde. I don't know anyone else who could provide a more precise political analysis of watching cute aliens bang."

"Thank you, Mister Strider," you say. "It is always a treat to have one's talents appreciated." You rest your elbows on the arms of your chair and steeple your fingers together. "Now. We should make plans if we're to press our advantage tomorrow."

Ah, so despite Rose's act this isn't one of the slave owning societies where having sex with your slaves in public is perfectly normal and not even worthy of comment.

Oh yum. It was nice to see Karkat looking to Eridan for help, and yes, they should have arranged codes ahead of time.

Did Eridan just not read Karkat's meaning I wonder? Or could he not think of a graceful way to get out of putting on that little sex show?

Loved that he was so unexpectedly good at it, and I wonder how Rose interpreted Karkat grabbing Eridan's wrist like that. Do the trolls feel safe enough in their assigned rooms to break from their roles?

If anyone is still waiting for updates on this, I am working on a more complete version here:

http://archiveofourown.org/works/585108/chapters/1051171

Next chapter should hopefully be up tonight.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

Homestuck Kink Meme: Act 2

Karkat/Eridan, pretending to be a slave, dub-con

Re: Karkat/Eridan, pretending to be a slave, dub-con

Re: Karkat/Eridan, pretending to be a slave, dub-con

Karkat: attempt alien diplomacy, Karkat/Eridan, pretend slavery, dub-con, 1/?

Re: Karkat: attempt alien diplomacy, Karkat/Eridan, pretend slavery, dub-con, 1/?

Re: Karkat: attempt alien diplomacy, Karkat/Eridan, pretend slavery, dub-con, 1/?

Re: Karkat: attempt alien diplomacy, Karkat/Eridan, pretend slavery, dub-con, 1/?

Re: Karkat: attempt alien diplomacy, Karkat/Eridan, pretend slavery, dub-con, 1/?

Re: Karkat: attempt alien diplomacy, Karkat/Eridan, pretend slavery, dub-con, 1/?

Re: Karkat: attempt alien diplomacy, Karkat/Eridan, pretend slavery, dub-con, 1/?

Karkat: attempt alien diplomacy, Karkat/Eridan, pretend slavery, dub-con, 2/?

[INTERLUDE: be the human highblood.]

Re: [INTERLUDE: be the human highblood.]

Re: Karkat: attempt alien diplomacy, Karkat/Eridan, pretend slavery, dub-con, 2/?

Karkat: attempt alien diplomacy, link for future